She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
