i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
