I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
