I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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