i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
