How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You are a genius and a whore.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
