So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
