How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
