I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
