K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
