She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize