where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
