I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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