Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
