Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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