An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Randomize
