Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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