what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
