you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
