I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
