Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
