if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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