My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
