we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
