she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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