whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
