dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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