I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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