I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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