you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
