R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We are two peas in an std pod
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
