Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
