But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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