he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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