Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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