Don't you send me to vm
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
