see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
