butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
