I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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