im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
