my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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