Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
