Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
