butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
