thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize