doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
