Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
