Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
