God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
