Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
