Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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