Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
It's shark week go big or go home
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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