I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
