found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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