But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
