You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
