so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
