he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
