So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
