I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
