i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
My balls are so social today.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
